For many years there were a lot of things about myself that I hated. I just could not accept myself. I could love other people just fine, but when it came to me I held the bar so high that ANY flaw, any mistake or any misstep was not only wrong, it made me a bad person in my own mind.
I had no connection to my Creator; I didn’t even know what that meant or felt like. Love was some Valentine’s Day gimmick and even though I seemed “confident” on the outside, it was false. It was cockiness used to cover up insecurity. That insecurity ran deep. I thought I had to have all this money, all these things to be worthy of a man’s love. I thought I had to be uber-successful to earn my parents respect. I thought I was nothing without achieving in the world.
All that has come crashing down. I have learned through much pain and trials that all those worldly things do not define me. Not because I’m in denial, but because I have learned that outer circumstances change ALL the time and that if I defined myself by what is happening on the outside, then when
Things change, who I am also changes.
That is setup for craziness.
Also, as I have cultivated a deeper relationship with my Creator, I’ve come to accept myself for my flaws and insecurities. I was made the way I was. As Lady Gaga says, “There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are, ‘cuz He made you perfect babe”.
I realized this past weekend that the things I dislike about myself have been created in me by The Uni-verse. It’s almost as if how I programmed, with my flaws, insecurities and “bad habits”, are all habits that eventually lead me back to Love.
The Uni-verse knows how to get my attention, too. Most of the major changes and discoveries in my Spiritual life have come from women. My mom has been a major spiritual influence on me. And most of my life, The Uni-verse has sent me my next spiritual steps through really cute boy who any girls or guys *LOL* would be crazy not to have a crush on. It’s actually a recurring theme in my life.
I was reflecting on this the other day and beating myself up for it. I didn’t like it. It made me think I was vain, or unloving, or that there was something wrong with me. But I had an insight and realized that’s how I was created by The Uni-verse. That’s how I can be spoken to. It kind of like going into France and speaking Japanese. The Uni-verse talks to us in the language that we understand.
The two places I can be spoken to best are through entrepreneur’s I respect and women and men I admire. And as soon as I realized this is how I was programmed and that my Creator loved me anyway, everything became lighter.
Now I’m not saying that this is the only way I learn, or that the only people I learn from are entrepreneur’s or women; I see everyone I meet as a teacher in some way. But when The Uni-verse really wants to drive home a point, that’s how It does it.
I started to see after I realized this that there are a lot of other “flaws” that I have that The Uni-verse has used for good. Take my deeeeep unmet desire to love and be loved by a woman. That pain of unfulfilled love has been used to teach me how to love myself AND create TDL in the process.
Pretty amazing, huh?
That’s how compassionate The Uni-verse is. It knows us perfectly. When we can learn to love ourselves as The Uni-verse loves us, flaws and all, the charge goes away. The self-judgment goes away. We step into self-acceptance and as a result can give and receive better.
From that place of self-acceptance we then have the inner conviction to create any kind of outer world we desire. We are undefined by the outer world, and rather defined by inner conviction and Love of our Creator.
This is how we connect with the unchanging. No longer defined by outer circumstances, our deep love of ourselves right where we are is solid ground to from which to live life. In this day and age of massive consumerism and “magazine beauty” driven fashion, radical self-acceptance and self-love is a revolutionary stance.
Join the revolution! ) What can you love about yourself today? Ask The Uni-verse how you can use your “flaws”, “insecurities” and “bad habits” for your growth and success. There is an answer in there – I guarantee it. All you gotta do is ask!
“Dear Uni-verse, show me how to love and accept these crazy parts of myself! Show me how to use them the way You intended them to be used. Show me how to see the beautiful gifts in my flaws, my insecurities and my bad habits! Show me how to accept myself as You made me.”
Ask, and it is given. Wanna ask?
Love,
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